As she wakes from the dead...

It has been almost a year since we last met! How time flies...

This is just going to be a quickie to bring you back in:)

Some things I need to remind myself of:
- I am a genuine person.
- When I am honest with myself, I gain respect.
- I have the ability to learn.
- I can achieve greatness, one step at a time.
- I can figure it out.
- If I ask for help, I will receive it.
- I am an explorer.

I have been feeling the opposite of all these things lately and I am trying to bring myself back. What affirmations do you tell yourself to bring you out of the dumps?? Or do you do something active like clean or take a bath?

I promise to someday post pictures of my new house and the amazing transformation it has made using lots and lots of paint. We still have a little ways to go, but I suspect that will always be the case. Until someday...

November 5, 2008

I am very happy today.. and very tired.  I stayed up too late watching our next president's speech and hoping to see when INDIANA WOULD TURN BLUE (which it eventually did this morning)!!!!   I live in a blue state!!!  I feel more connected to the country that voted majorly similar to myself.  I don't feel so disconnected as I did four years ago. 

 

I'm not sure if I really want to be so one-sided.  "My team won, so I'm happy with my country" "My team lost, so I don't feel connected to my country."  I want to appreciate and understand each side.  I want to be engaged and informed, but appreciative of the results, whatever they are.  Just happy for the democratic process and happy to be a part of it.  I appreciate that this two year process has been very visible and I have been paying attention.  I understand more than I did even four years ago, and I want to understand more.  I am inspired from this election to really understand the issue and what is at stake. 

 

I am very happy to be able to witness history.  I will be able to tell my grandchildren about this election, when the first African-American won the presidency and how it also could just as easily have been the first woman president.  I hope I will be able to witness the first woman president.  I also hope to see gay marriage legalized, which I am disappointed that California looks like they will be banning.  I thought for sure Californians were ready for gay marriage.  I guess we have a little ways yet to go. 

 

I like Barack Obama.  I'm glad he won.  I wish I would have gone to see him when he was in the area.  That would have been cool.

We put in offer on a house on Wednesday, and now it is pending... with someone else! Those bastards sneaked in an offer after we put ours in. Bastards! It's really no big deal, we put in a low ball offer anyway.

So the house hunt continues.

I bought a laptop and a new camera. I bought a Dell Inspiron 1525 and a Cannon Powershot SD790 IS. I am very happy with both, especially the camera. The pictures are awesome.

Here's a picture of me from the web cam taking a picture with the camera.

sweet.

Here are some more pictures.






and some more. from sunday at the lake.






I still need a really good picture of Copper and Lucky.

That's it. I promised a new post, and I delivered.

Changing

Sorry, I didn't mean to leave the post about menstrual cups up at the top for so long. I have lot's of updates and no motivation to write anything real long. So, let's do this real quick like.

Update #1:
CJ and I got the most wonderful doggie one week ago. She is awesome. Her name is Lily. She's, like, the perfect dog. Real sweat. A calm temperament, but will run around the back yard a million miles an hour (usually before she has to poop). The cats are even getting used to her. Copper was instantly used to her and just wanted to make sure he was getting the same love and affection she was. On the first day she came home, I was petting Lily on her doggie bed and Copper came right up and demanded to be petted. One the first day! Lola needed some more time, but I'm happy that she has been getting more comfortable in the last few days. She might still run away if Lily moves to fast, but she doesn't have a problem with her if she's just sitting there, or sleeping (which she does a lot). I'm very happy, I was so worried the cats would be so traumatized they would never recover. I'll post pictures when I get my lazy butt to transfer my pictures to my computer. Don't hold your breath, I'm really lazy. Imagine a collie, with short hair. Orange body, with a white head and belly. She also looks like a greyhound. It makes me unusually happy that I have two orange and white haired pets (Lily and Copper, and there markings are real similar) and two gray pets (Lola and Lucky). Plus in the house, there are 3 males (CJ, Lucky, and Copper), and three females (Leslie, Lola, and Lily). Now I'm wishing Lucky was named something starting with a "C". Or is that too much?

Update #2:
I got a HUGE promotion at work. My boss announced a couple months ago, that he was leaving. I applied for the job thinking it would be a great opportunity, but knowing that I didn't have the experience that they wanted. I've only been there for a year, and I new they would rather have someone with at least three, along with a Professional Engineering license which takes 4 years of work experience to get. I was optimistic, but I knew that if anyone with experience doing this type of work applied, my chances might not be very good. Well, no one like that applied, and I got the job. Plus it's a major bonus to know everyone and having worked with my boss for a year, I got some basic understanding of what it will entail. This does mean that I will have to work my butt off for a while and ask a million questions. I am going to be very BUSTy (I mean busy, typo. I'm already busty;) )


I'm a grown-up now. How did that happen?

The menstrual cup

Way back in September, I bought the Keeper menstrual cup when I was up in da U.P. with CJ. Maybe the great outdoors inspired me to reduce less, or maybe it was the fact that I was actually on my period while camping which made me want a better alternative to catching the "."

It's been a whole 6 months since I tried it out, so I figured I should report on my findings. First of all, it is not pleasant to put in at first. Actually, it hurts. Especially when you are dry. And sometimes it can pop back into place at the wrong place of insertion, and it can really hurt. With experience, you get the hang of it. I even used lube a couple times, but worried it would be sliding around too much up there and stuff will be sliding out. I can't confirm that, though.

My second gripe is that for my heavy days, the cup spilling over. So I end up using one or two pads a month so I don't ruin my panties. It could be argued that I could empty the cup more, but I feel like I do enough and that anymore would be annoying. I work in an office 20 feet from a bathroom, so it's not like it is a trek to get there, as it would be for some girlies. It sucks that I still have to waste when the whole point of the cup was not to, but I am not wasting significantly less than before (maybe 15 tampons compared to 1-2 biodegradable pads---not bad I'd say).

My third gripe is the suction sound it makes when it is coming out. It's usually not a problem unless I'm in a public bathroom, and even then if I'm really careful, it can be avoided.

The things I like about it is that you can carry it in your purse, so you don't have to worry about starting suddenly. I like that you can empty it in a public restroom; unlike the sponge, as I learned from Rachel, you have to rinse it out in the sink. It's clean-ish. There is a potential to make a big bloody mess, but for the most part, it's not much difference than a tampon. You also don't feel it when it's in right, like a tampon. The major difference from tampons is you can see how much you collect. Which I think is cool, but you might think it's gross. And the best reason is I don't ever run out and I don't have to go to the store that often. I just bought my second box of biodegradable pads in 6 months. I love being able to forget things, it makes life so much easier.

All in all, I'm going to keep using it. I'm willing to sacrifice a little discomfort every once in a while for the environment. I like that I am finding ways to reduce less and that makes it worth it. One step at a time.

Alright, time for bed. Good night!

My book was on the front page of etsy!!!

Yesterday, after work, I went onto etsy, because I'm obsessed, and this is what I saw




That's my book in the lower left corner for the whole world to see!!!!!!!!!!

I was in shock! My hands were shaking. It was so awesome, I don't know what to say.

I guess my work the last couple weeks has paid off. I was recognized. Over 400 people clicked on it.

:) :) :) :)

And just a couple weeks ago I felt non-existent. How quickly moods can change.

I'm so glad I was able to see it, they don't stay on the front page for very long. I think they might change it every hour. My obsession paid off. I hit the jackpot. Now I'll have to check it even more ;)

I have fallen off the wagon. That's why I didn't update last week, because I was disappointed. The momentum gave out and I realized there was nothing left. I believe if I keep practicing it will become a habit and I won't need motivation to keep it going. I'm going to wait until my funk lifts to try again. I feel if I keep at it right now, I will be setting myself up for disappointment because my mind isn't where it needs to be.

On a positive note, I have been super productive making books. I have made four books in the last two weeks, which is really impressive compared to what I usually do. If I do one book a week, I'm happy (but I usually don't even do that). I'm wondering where the change came from. Usually I have an idea for a book or painting and I am hesitant to start, if I start at all. I have this great idea in my head and I'm afraid to do it. Afraid it won't turn out, or I won't know how to get this idea into reality. Last week, though, I just did it without any fear, only with an exiting curiosity that wanted to see what would happen. It was nice and refreshing. So what has changed? I stopped drinking caffeine for a month, I started challenging my qualities that I wasn't proud of, and I started the Artist's Way again. I think the last one might be the catalyst to all of this. I think just writing and thinking about things gets the wheels turning in my head. Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping with any of these things. I started drinking a small amount of caffeine again, I stopped changing, and I stopped doing the
AW all together.

I'm still feeling the positive effects of these things even if I am in a foul mood. I started cleaning out my studio this weekend and spend a few hours on it last night. This has been something I have really needed to do for a while.

I think I am afraid to try again. Afraid I'll fail. I didn't really fail with the whole waking up thing, it just got hard and I got resistant. I'm slowly going back to my normal routine. So there is hope that I can slowly move to something better. I just don't feel like it.

I think I can go back to the AW. I don't feel much resistance to that, I just need to make the time for it. It's possible that it helped me to make improvements and it will help me again. Just thinking and exploring what I think and what I want will get me moving in that direction. I haven't read The Secret, but I hear it is a lot like that. Positive thoughts equal positive results. Maybe I should read it to see what the hype is about. Plus I love all that self helpy stuff. I'm a self-help addict.